Opinion: In My Dreams

Written by: Margaret Kimemia

Ask me where I want to go & I will go to today 15years agonic was 6. I knew how to be happy & make people around me happy I was carefree.
Children. These are tiny humans who believe in magic. They play pretence. They hope &cross their fingers and make wishes. That makes them more resilient than adults. They survive worse, recover faster because they believe. For them, there are miracles. For them anything is possible.

Now, as an adult I am pessimistic, depressed, sad and sullen wishing for days gone by.
When I was little, night time was scary because there were monsters under the bed. As I get older, the monsters are different: self-doubt, fear of the unknown, loneliness, regrets …and though I may be older and wiser I still find myself scared of the dark. At this point for me, sleep is the easiest thing to do. I just, close my eyes. And wait.

It’s in sleep that I party without a care in the world. Travel the world. Be a millionaire before 25. Own my dream home by 30. Marry the elusive, rich Mr. Right. Have beautiful, obedient non-screaming babies. Remain forever young &sexy. And do it all without having to lift a muscle. AS they say ‘In your DREAMS!’
In my dreams, I am safe. No one I love ever dies. I never get heart-broken or broke. I always get what I want& never get turned down. I only shed tears of joy & life seems like one huge celebration.
But then again, in my DREAMS!

And then just when everything seems picture-perfect, its morning and time to wake up. Suddenly, all my fears, responsibilities, obligations, expectations and disappointments are real again.
But for now, am just going to keep my eyes closed because it’s that moment in the morning when u 1st wake up and you are half asleep, half awake & everything seems real.
It’s like being 6 again.
Things are possible, dreams still true and for that moment between sleeping &waking, anything can be real.
And when I eventually open my eyes and see that it’s me and realize that….
NO! I am just going to keep my eyes closed and hope that one day am going to write a happy ending where all my dreams come true.

 

So for now, am just going to think like a 6yr old because as Woodrow Wilson said ‘No man that doesn’t see visions, that never dreams will ever realize any high hope or undertake any high enterprise.”

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