Shoe – Literary Chronicles

Written by Victorine Ndinda

Allow me to be the first female to openly stand up for something that men so hate to hear or even talk about but women (some) evidently adore-the plastic shoes. Yes, the flat plastic shoes that come in all shapes, sizes and colour (and for that they have been christened condom shoes). I am yet to meet a man who loves those shoes, and if there is one, dude I would marry you wherever you are coz you must be a rare type. I am increasingly learning that the world today is full of fakes and repetitions. Nothing is new! I think there’s even a verse in the Bible that mentions it, right? So the next time you realize you are telling a story like you just discovered a second moon, just keep quiet for a moment, turn to the person next to you and tell them to slap you, real hard, and move on with the story.

Anyway, moving on, I would like to ask men-why do you hate the condom shoes again? Well, I know the answers to this question, for those who will care to answer will be varied, a mostly start with ‘arrrgh, nachukia huto tu viatu sana. Mbona ma dame…….’ Like I don’t know you hate them already. To save on time, since am not allowed to wait for your feedback so that I can move on, I have a few reasons I gathered from the few men I asked that question. I found some of them outrageous but let’s hear them first before I go on with my opinion.

They are ugly
They spoil great outfits(that I agree, to some extent though, not entirely)
They are so common
They look very cheap(the most common one)
No difference with slippers. They all are plastic
Most of the girls who wear them are show-offs

Well, I took the common ones. Am sure there are many more. Now, men, there are things about a woman that you will never understand, and no, don’t say that there is nothing about a woman that you understand, like my brother does. For such things, you better leave them like that-as a Pandora box. Otherwise trying to open might be your ultimate end. What do I mean here? Women will eat stones, cry at the slightest provocation, call you names in the morning and in the evening want you to take them out, expect you to hold the umbrella for them even if it means they take the whole space and you have to be rained on, and women will also want to wear condom shoes. And when a woman wants to do all these things, even if she does them all in a day, LET HER BE!

There are several reasons why women so love these shoes. Besides the fact that they carry all the qualities of a condom (size, colour and price), they are also very comfortable and are efficient. On flat ground only, otherwise wearing them in a rocky place makes you walk like you are trying to moon-walk on a straight rope. There are the really good looking ones that come in very cool colours, like purple, and complete an outfit so well. What most men don’t know when they see a good-looking girl comfortably walking in town with a big handbag in grey purple condom shoes is that she has very sexy purple heels to match with her purple blouse, but she has walked in the office all day in them and is now too tired to wear them again.

The men who constantly complain about the condom shoes have never done a thing about it. Like get her a new nice pair of flat sandals from Mr. Price. Men, she doesn’t even have to be your girlfriend. Even Jesus said that it’s pointless to show love only to those who will appreciate us back. She could just be a friend. I know of a friend who did that, with a clean heart (a problem with most men today, they have become experts in barter trade-give me I give you) One of my exes saw me in a pair once. He said he never wanted to see me in them again to which I of course retorted that he gets me a new pair from Enkarasha. Well, we broke up before I got the new pair (I hope our breaking up had nothing to do with the condom shoes)! So if you can’t get her a new pair, leave the girl alone. She will get rid of it soon when she walks on a tarmac road on a very hot sunny day. If she still gets a new pair, with a colour worse that the previous one, well, try to live with it.

Yes I agree that to some women, that is the only pair of shoe under their bed but when did men start using shoes to judge women? I thought that was a girl’s thing? I once owned a very nice pair of pink heeled open shoes. They only cost me Ksh 20. Believe it or not. Am sure many women have amazing stuff that cost them less than that but never mention it because besides her age, a girl never tells the price of her shoes and clothes. Oh boy, did I mention mine already? Oh well. My point was men, stop judging girls by what is on their feet, leave that to us girls because we do it best plus it can be misleading!